Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Moving On

Howdy folks

I've finally got around to doing it - I've created a new blog.

To be honest I've been thinking about it for ages - in fact as far back as 6 months ago when I changed the name of my current blog to 'imperfections' from 'Waiting For Life...' as most of you are likely to have known it. Simply the reason that was holding me back (apart from time) was that I couldn't think of a name.. well I finally found one.. and I'm sure you'll laugh at how obvious it is when you hear it.

From today onwards you'll find me at Soul Seared Memoirs - as I stated before I have restricted this blog and will only offer access to people or bloggers I know.

I apologise but if I don't know you and you aren't a known blogger within the current bloggers network (linked to friends is okay) than for security purposes (amongst other reasons) you will not be granted access.

As always if you meet the above criteria - please leave a comment on the blog and email me on a_shah1000@hotmail.com

Peace out people - the Soul Seared Dreamer signs his final post herewith on the banks of Waiting For Life...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Privacy

Unfortunately dire times call for dire responses.

With immediate effect this blog will no longer update.

I will be intending to start a new blog - however I am afraid that this new one will be restricted.

For those that do not know - my email address is a_shah1000@hotmail.com - please email me for access.

I'm sorry to say this but unless I know you in person or are a fellow known blogger - you will not be granted access.

New blog address will follow.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

An empty deck of cards

Well by now those that haven’t realised.. English finally took on board my suggestion to create a blog as an avenue to vent via. For those interested his blog can be found here.

I don’t think anyone who doesn’t or hasn’t ever blogged can ever truly understand just how useful a blog can be. There are no words for how essential my blog has been in shaping the man I am today. I think the fact that the blog can evolve into whatever you want it to be is one of the main reasons why this is so. For me when I first started the blog it enabled me to have a place where I could vent and be myself with a veil to hide my identity.. maybe that helped me voice a part of me that I’d never allowed to voice itself before. And when the time came I was able to shed that veil and bask in the freedom it allowed. Ever since that first moment – a weight had lifted and my very existence began to be shaped by an invisible entity known to you all as the infamous Soul Seared Dreamer. It was as if SSD was everything I had aspired and dared to be.

For those that have been reading English’s blog, or those that are more involved in my life than a blog presence (no offence to any of these people – I love every single one of you) would have known that things between English and I have what can only be known as “shit hittin’ the fan”.

I latently discovered after what to me was a normal routine post that things in my life had changed and I was going to have to rapidly adjust to keep from things imploding. I believe anyone who had subscribed to an RSS Feed (I never even knew this existed until this moment) got a version of the post “Harder Better Faster Stronger” that very few others saw. Essentially English had stated as clear as crystal that there were limits to what he would deem appropriate on my blog. That post he believed inappropriate for the fact that it made our relationship appear less than perfect. Maybe that was a moment when I should have realised that things weren't right and things would undoubtedly go wrong coz what was my only avenue to vent would disappear overnight. I know it might sound stpid but things that would have easily vented out of my system with a blog post had stated to fester and congeal without an avenue to escape. The little irrelevant things became issues and stuff started boiling over until there was nothing left but fire and arguments. This obviously hardly happened overnight and its only in hindsight that I see this.

This post will respect that latent wish and I’ll not touch upon the details behind what it was exactly that lead to the break-up but suffice to say there is soo much more to the break-down than can be summarised or encapsulated within a blog-post. In fact I broke down in front of a friend that will remainless nameless and poured my heart out over a box of tissues, taking up that poor souls' entire day to my sob story. That friend is one of 3 people outside our relationship who know the full-story (and not half-truths) about what happened and none of these have ever questioned or told me to reconsider my decision to break things off with English. One agrees with me that until its impossible I should make every effort to remain a friendship with him whereas the other two stress that I should run a mile. I've never been one to listen to anything more than my heart so I've decided for the time to continue to remain friends but maintain a professional difference and distance as to not give him hope that things could work out in the future.

I know the majority would after this much information prefer I document the entire story but, and I stress this but - I have more respect for English than to sit here and slag him off. He is by far one of the kindest and dearest people in my life, but, alas, our relationship was just not meant to be. Whether this was down to circumstances I'll never know. That is all I'll say on this. If English wishes to disect the relationship woes any further than I'll leave it to him.

Apologises for being so withdrawn of late – my life has had more control of me than I have had of it. I have taken steps to remedy this and whilst progress is likely to be slow and steady.. I hope to return to the world of blogging with renewed fervour. But before that I hope to catch up with the blogs I’ve come to love over the past year or so. Just allow me a bit of time – I’ve made an awful lot of friends and catching up with them will take quite some time.

Peace out people.