Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Repeat After Me... 'PENIS'

You put your penis in, penis out, in out, in out, you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around.
That's what it's all about. O the Hokey Cokey. O the Hokey Cokey. O the Hokey Cokey
Knees bent, arms stretched. Raa raa raa

Never heard that one before, or did that at school right? For the girls reading this please replace penis with tit (since there are left tits and right tits you can make use of them individually)

Anyways onto a more serious note… and what this post is all about… penises. I was cruising the net and what do I see… oh wait actually before that… is it only me or what - but it frustrates me to no end how taboo the subject of penises are in most homes. I often wonder and think I’m the only one who doesn’t feel shame at the thought of being naked around others.

Take my mother and aunt for example – is it weird that both have seen my penis when I’m in my twenties… and I’m not talking when I was under 5… I’m talking about having seen it recently! See now if I’m changing or naked in my bedroom I don’t always close my room door, doing so in my mind means I’m hiding something, which I’m not – I have a penis but then I’m a bloke and that is pretty natural - so it confuses me what's to be shy about… don’t get me wrong I don’t expose myself to random strangers on the road or shout ‘look here it’s my penis hanging out’. It’s just well this is my home and I’m comfortable here in my own skin.

I didn’t always think like that and most definitely haven't always been comfortable in my own skin… thinking back when I was in my teens the thought that anyone could catch a glimpse at my penis would have me trembling and shaky – what changed? I had a circumcision and was forced to be naked for a few weeks whilst it healed – wearing something was actually painful and abrasive against the cut. Since then I’m been very blasé about nudity, maybe I’ve finally realised I’m actually really quite comfortable in my own skin.

I most definitely don’t have the body of a Greek God or anything… but I do draw attention when I’m in a sleeveless Tee or specifically dressed to be noticed. So I ain’t exactly the worst thing on the planet to gaze upon.

Anyways I’m drifting again (as normal) – so there I was cruising the net looking for nothing in particular and I come across a site where there are dozens and dozens of pictures of guys who for lack of a better word have no modesty. Penis galore. And amidst this array of penises I spot a familiar one. I swear I recognised it. No shit it was a penis I’ve seen MILLIONS of times…

Now I don’t know how good people are spotting penises but say someone took a picture of your penis and loaded it onto a site with about a hundred others... could you spot yours? I’d think yes. So there staring at me in its full glory was a picture of my penis. I swear I recognise the shape, the head, the cut, the vein and the pubes also funnily enough. But I know for a fact that I’ve never taken a picture of myself like that and I was confused as to how a picture of my penis could appear online without me knowing about it. And the more I looked at it, the more I knew this was definitely mine. And then it hit me. I posed for pictures when some girl I was sleeping with back in my late teens insisted, or rather demanded that I allow her to take pictures of me naked. And I’d obliged, albeit rather reluctantly. She mailed me a set of the pictures and shortly afterwards I met my first to be boyfriend, who discovered said photos and asked for a copy. Since he had already seen me naked I gave him some of the better ones.

So there they were, loaded onto the Internet for all to see. Thankfully none of the photos have headshots, I imagine it was him who loaded them, I can’t imagine it was her who loaded them on a gay site.

So I click this picture of my penis and inside are several more. Body shots, poser-ish shots, close-ups and one of my abs.

The funniest thing is – the shape and definition of my body has not changed. Here are pictures of me from almost 5/6 years ago and I can’t believe but they could have been taken yesterday for how accurate they look. I still have the tracksuit bottoms I was wearing in those pictures, it still fits perfectly and is not worn out (I rarely wear tracksuit bottoms) – for someone who has a perpetual hard-on - trackies do little to hide a hard-on and I feel I might as well be naked for the contour of my penis is clearly visible – a friend once kindly pointed this out, on one of the rare times I was wearing trackies, she said very politely that she could see it clearly and was like your ‘nicely endowed aren’t you’ – I dare not imagine the depth of red on my face.

Anyways I’m drifting AGAIN.

So there are people who have left comments on these pictures and let’s just say they are pretty vivid and imaginative. Some guy (who was quite dishy himself) left a comment regarding strawberry jam and cream – I would have done a direct quote but I tested a google search and said quote was a direct link to said page – and no don’t ask for the direct link – you ain’t getting it!

But I’m a little surprised I’m not furious to discover there are pictures of me naked on the Internet, which were loaded without my permission.

I know there is a certain element to me that is pretty exhibitionist, I recall when I went to Centre Parcs 2 years back, and there was this guy watching me in the pool, who ironically ended up in the locker/changing room exactly at the same time as me. It was just my brother, him and I, it was Aqua Sana (a spa). My brother disappeared to change behind one of the curtains. And I purposely undressed in front of the guy and not behind a curtain and walked across the locker room in the nude to enter the shower, with nothing but my towel in my hand. I quite enjoyed watching him watch. And he sure as hell was watching.

I guess the hidden exhibitionist in me is starting to rear its head (pun intended)

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Gay Flamingos

I lasted exactly five days away from eBlogger... which even for me is abysmal (that of course excludes the comment 3 days ago) - otherwise its just 2 days, and I like the sound of 5 days over 2 days ;o)

Anyways this isn't a proper post - I was just reading the news (yes it's very important keeping tabs on what is happening outside the world of eBlogger) and I read this hilarious article... I've edited it slightly. But the original can be found here.

A pair of gay flamingos have adopted an abandoned chick, becoming parents after being together for six years, a British conservation organisation said Monday.

Carlos and Fernando had been desperate to start a family, even resorting to chasing other flamingos from their nests to take over their eggs at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust (WWT) in Slimbridge near Bristol, UK.

"The couple, together for six years, can feed chicks by producing milk in their throats. Gay flamingos are not uncommon", said WWT spokeswoman Jane Waghorn. "If there aren't enough females or they don't hit it off with them, they will pair off with other males."

Ain't that just hilarious?

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Time Has Come

I'm sad to annouce that with exams looming and the inability to blog any less than normal - I have no choice but be drastic and actually, for the first time in my life, be firm with myself.

My last exam is on the 12th of June.
So that will hopefully (if this works) be the next time I post.
I haven't even gone yet but I miss you all already :o(

Sunday, May 20, 2007

What Type of Person Are You? [pictures + detailed results]

The realist - The objective

The Realist, unlike most people, actually has the ability to see the world for what it is, and that it's not all black and/or white. Dreams they may have, but they see clearly despite them. Since they don't want to sugar-coat or something alike, people may perceive them as boring and unimaginative. Their inputs may not always be wanted if it is encouragement that others seek.
The Realist is often seen as wise though, when people understand that they see how it really is. Most the time anyway. They are not flawless after all. Life comes with both good and bad, and so do the realist. Appearing somewhat dull and bland to the world, they usually shy away from people, unless they are with those who they feel comfortable with. A new personality seem to arise then, since the Realist knows they can behave how they truly are with those.
Close relationships are valued, but the Realist care very little for shallow ones. They are not after numbers, only deeper relationships that has meaning. Realists are seldom materialistic or superficial, nor are they trend followers. If they like something, they do, and they stick to it. Changes are not often made, and they prefer what they have already tried before, as they feel more comfortable with it.
Though, due to them knowing the world goes both ways, they may feel down, feeling as if they are helpless in the works of the world and its natural forces. They'd surely appreciate it if the good side won a lot more, and that dreams come true more often. Realists often remain passive, not feeling as if they have any valued action/thought to contribute with. If gone too far, they could become like the Cynical, losing hope in life.
Quote:"The purpose of life is a life of purpose." -Robert Byrne

Take this quiz

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Flipping Americans

I apologise in advance for insulting any person who is American.

But what the fuck is wrong with you lot, huh?

How can anyone claim Melinda didn't deserve to go through into the finals?

I could almost forgive all the millions of American viewers for keeping Sanjaya in the competition for so long but I think it is unforgivable that you bastards voted Melinda out.

Yes I admit Blake and Jordin are good, but Melinda is second best at least - if not the BEST.

Grrrrrr. Fucking Americans!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Sucking Too Hard On Your Lollipop

Talking of BJs. Has anyone heard of Mika? Or his song Lollipop... I'm not how much of British music is out there... in the big bad world but it is a great song. It's not a released song, but his first single Grace Kelly did really well in the charts. Anyways here are the lyrics... Is it me or is this song just full of innuendo? I love it.... Get a hold of it if you can...

What’s the big idea?
Yo, Mika!
I said sucking to hard on your lollipop
Oh, loves gonna get you down
I said sucking to hard on your lollipop
Oh, loves gonna get you down
Sucking to hard on your lollipop
Loves gonna get you down
Sucking to hard on your lollipop
Loves gonna get you down
Say love, say love
Loves gonna get you down
Say love, say love
Loves gonna get you down.

I went walking with my momma one day
When she warned me what people say
Live your life until love is found
‘Cos loves gonna get you down.
Take a look at the girl next door
She’s a player and a downright whore
She’s a slowzer, she wants more
Oh,bad girls get you down.

Sing it!
Sucking to hard on your lollipop
Oh, loves gonna get you down
Sucking to hard on your lollipop
Oh, loves gonna get you down
Say love, say love
Oh, loves gonna get you down.
Say love, say love
Oh, loves gonna get you down.

Mama told me what I should know
Too much candy gonna rot your soul
If she loves you let her go
‘Cos love only gets you down.
Take a look at a boy like me
Never stood on my own two feet
Now I’m blue as I can be
Oh, love only got me down.

Sing it!
Sucking to hard on your lollipop
Oh, loves gonna get you down
Sucking to hard on your lollipop
Oh, loves gonna get you down
Say love, say love
Oh loves gonna get you down
Say love, say love
Oh loves gonna get you down.

I was walking with my momma one day
When she warned me what people say
Live your life until love is found
Or loves gonna get you down.

Sing it!
Sucking to hard on your lollipop
Loves gonna get you down
Sucking to hard on your lollipop
Oh, loves gonna get you down
Say love, say love
Oh, loves gonna get you down
Say love, say love
Oh, loves gonna get you down.

Mama told me what I should know
Too much candy gonna rot your soul
If she loves you let her go
‘Cos love only gets you down.

Waa-oh waa-oh waa-oh lollipop
Waa-oh waa-oh waa-oh lollipop
Sucking too hard on your lollipop
oh loves gonna get you down
Sucking too hard on your lollipop
oh loves gonna get you down

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Shock Horror


A common virus, believed to be transmitted during oral sex, is the cause of a rare throat cancer in both men and women, US researchers said Wednesday.

The study is the first to prove the link between the human papillomavirus or HPV -- the leading cause of cervical cancer -- and oropharyngeal cancer.

... people who had had more than six oral sex partners were 8.6 times more likely to develop the HPV-linked cancer.

HPV can be found in saliva, semen and urine, but has a particular affinity for the mucosal skin cells of the penis and vagina.


So anyone put off Oral Sex yet? Nope! Didn't think so!

If you wanna read the full article click here.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

American Idol ***SPOILER ALERT***

In light of the recent sombre posts.. I thought I could do with posting something a little more upbeat, and light hearted. So here goes - my topic today is:

After what can only be described as AGES I finally watched American Idol. Possibly because I accidently read someone's post on who gets knocked off this week and I was almost in shock as a result. Seriously the last time I watched, Haley had just got booted off. See what I meant when I said ages... I bet none of you even remember her ;o)


Do not read this if you have yet to watch American Idol this week.

So its down to LaKeisha, Jordin, Blake and Melinda. Well ain't that a lie. Kiki is gone now.

So I was watching and I couldn't help but ask myself 4 questions:

1. When did Jordin get so GOOD? - okay okay okay before you bombard me with hate mail - I know she was good - but when did she get soo good that she was headed for the Idol status. I swear when I watched it was a 2 woman race (Melinda & LaKeisha) - where did Jordin come from?

2. So if it was a 2 woman race how is it that LaKeisha is gone? And when did LaKeisha get soo BAD. I swear she sounded coarse, like she had sand-paper in her throat.

3. When did Blake get so ordinary? Was it me or did he look no where near as sexy as he use to be? What was going on with his hair (was it actually flat?) and his beat-bopping sounded so fucked.

4. When did Melinda get HOT. I swear she was cooking, practically sizzling. Her hair and clothes were like WOW.

So in summary... I'm really confused now. I really don't know who I want to win.

* I love Melinda - she is great, talented and has this complete lack of ego - which makes me love her more.
* I totally fancy Blake - but I don't think he is the best in comparison to the others. I think I'm rooting for him for all the wrong reasons.
* And Jordin - flipping hell - she had made some major progress and at 17 completely deserves to win.

So who is your favourite to win?

If I have to pick someone I'm going with Melinda.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Questioning What Happened!

Thank you all so very much for your kind words.

I think now that the worst of the shock of Zacky's passing is fading, I find questions replacing anger.

I spoke to Zacky's father to try and ascertain what exactly happened... and when I really listened to what he said... the impression I got is that he doesn't know. So I asked more questions. He can tell me what happened moments before she died, but not WHY it happened.

The shock to the mother is far too great and raw, so it's difficult to have any real meaningful conversation. How she is dealing right now, I just don't know.

So here I sit pondering the question.... What exactly happened? How does a fairly healthy girl just die?

Now annoyingly Monday here was a Bank Holiday, and Zacky died on Sunday, so the first opportunity that the hospital could do a post mortem would have been Tuesday.

Problem is this would be unacceptable for the family. As a Muslim, Zacky had to be buried within 48 hours, and as a result of the Bank Holiday, it would not be feasible to allow a post mortem and have her buried within 48 hours. They were barely able to have her buried without the post mortem as a direct result of the Bank Holiday.

So an immediate difficult decision was made... that the post mortem would be foregone for the ability to bury her according to her religion's requirements.

But this has created the situation now where the family have no idea how a fairly healthy girl died... and despite having leukemia, it can be said which a 100% certainty that was not the cause of her death.

Thus no one really has any idea why she died, neither the family nor the doctors - and I can't seem to stop asking myself... does this not make the death of a fourteen year old that much harder to digest?

Tuesday, May 08, 2007


I'm completely numb.

I have just attended the funeral of a fourteen year old friend.

Someone whom I watched grow up.

Someone whom I helped with her homework.

Someone whom I practically lived next door to, for almost her entire life.

Someone whom I have babysitted.

Someone who choose to attend the same High School as me, coz if I went there she said it was good enough for her.

Someone who I just discovered days ago had leukemia.

Someone whom I didn't even get a chance to visit in hospital.

Someone who on her last day alive asked when I would visit her.

Someone who called me her big brother (I wasn't but she still called me that)

All I want to do is cry.... for fuck sake she was only 14.

I hope my dear wherever you are... you are happy.

Rest In Peace Zacky, my dear little sister. I'm sorry I couldn't come to see you in hospital.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Quick Update

I just realised I haven't blogged properly since 28th April.

The last 2 posts were nothing more than space fillers.

It was my niece's birthday Wednesday gone. So was kinda busy running around getting a cake and presents.

Also someone I blogged about some time ago - see here - finally had her baby... a girl last week Monday (6lbs) and I went to visit her at home a few days ago - I'd been meaning to go to see her for over a week and I finally got around to it. She was really happy I made the time and effort knowing how busy I am with my exams, revision and classes. So I had to go shopping for some baby grows and stuff. I brought this uber cute Piglet (from Winnie The Pooh) babygrow and whilst I was shopping for baby stuff I also brought some stuff for J (one of my closest mates) who is also pregnant - I got her an equally uber cute Winnie The Pooh babygrow (it's a boy - but don't tell anyone I said so - she hasn't told anyone but me!)

Other news I attended a meeting on Thursday for Phoenix Futures regarding my 'dare to be daring post' back in March 2007 but I'll not go into details here coz this is a quick post and that is kinda long and complicated... but in short it appears I can do the Everest Basecamp after all- it's in February 2008 now. Yay. Now I just have to decide if I'm gonna have time to train for it as well as deal with the last three ACCA exams *sigh*

On a final note I'm totally totally totally addicted to Timberland's Shock Value album. I seem to have it playing on perpetual repeat. If anyone has an appreciation for good music - GET IT!

NB - I know it's corny but I was just reading the comments on the dare to be daring post and some of them are hilarious. Jules you sponsored me 11p and Aprill you sponsored me 13p. I have yet to receive either ;o)

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

We Is Friends

I saw this and I couldn't help but laugh my ass off - this is just too funny

For those who watch American Idol (which at the moment I'm not... too little time in life) - I came across this picture. Don't Chris and Blake look really cute together? Have I mentioned yet that I think Blake is like UBER-HOT?