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I know most of my readers think I’m some uber-confidant vigilante whom never feels weak in the knees, a rogue maneater or some such (well I know
Jay does anyway). Well just for clarity I really am not. I can be one hell of a flirt, have the bluntness of well a brick and can be so forward I’ll make you red in the face but whilst I put on an image of confidence, well suffice to say its put on.
I’ve lost of count of how many people refer to me as good-looking, but the truth of the matter is that when I look in the mirror I see a pipsqueak who needs lipoinduction. No seriously I always refer to myself as a Smurf, but despite feeling like a smurf at the best of times, I do walk and talk with an air of confidence, and the fact that I always have a smile plastered on my face helps.
So going back to the rollercoaster events of April/May, I meet this guy called Jimmy, around the same time as things with Alex died down. So I kind of put him on hold. Now there are many guys who you see and your heart skips a beat, or make you struggle for air, but Jimmy isn’t one of them guys. Jimmy is quiet and shy, whilst he isn’t ugly, he isn’t one of them guys you expect to see on the front page of a magazine, or the kind of guy whose clothes you just wanna rip off. Rather he is sweet and reserved, but sometimes I find this is rather frustrating.
He is very much like Sid in the respect that he is usually the one to contact me when neither have spoken/texted each other in a while. But unlike Sid, he seems to be able to keep his hands to himself. I’ve already said he is shy so this is no real surprise. Sid was pretty shy too, but Sid hands were far from shy. Even when we were out, Sid would slip his hand into mine, or if we were at the cinema, lets just say his hands wandered everywhere but his lap.
So when does one stop being shy with someone. I’ve met up with Jimmy a fair few times, and I’ve yet to actually hold his hand or touch him, in fact there has been little more than a handshake or a hug. I am good at reading people and I can tell from his body language he isn’t comfortable with it, so I haven’t pressed it until now.
Just for the record we’ve been out a couple of times. Once he let me down and cancelled on me quite late (when I was ill so I’d have cancelled on him anyway but I didn’t tell him this) - nevertheless I said he’d have to make it up to me,
something seductive I suggested (this is me being causally flirty), and its kinda in the whole my style of dating - I always insist the person I’m seeing organises the second date as it gives me an idea of what is on their mind, and it acts as kinda a test for me – so what does he arrange a meal at Nandos (a Portuguese restaurant) – not quite what I had in mind when I said seductive. But oh well I do like Nandos, and annoying for the better part of it, it feel on me to finalise all the little details.
Now I want your opinion on exactly how to interpret a conversation I’ve had with him, coz it left me a little perplexed as to where exactly I stand with this guy. So for the first time I pressed the whole sex angle by asking: (via SMS) after the
SECOND official date.
Me: Excuse me for being forward but I’m gonna ask you a personal question, are you a top or a bottom. I fear your 2shy to bring it up unless I bring it up first
Him: Haha wot do you think, guess
Him: I don’t think you’ll be able to guess I’m a top. U?
Me: I’d class myself as a top too. Which is not to say I’d never consider it. Have you ever bottomed?
Him: No I haven’t.
Me: Would you ever consider bottoming?
Him: I’m not sure I would or wouldn’t consider it.
Me: I see. How many inches are you?
Him: About x inches. U? (for reasons of privacy this one has been censored)
Me: About the same I’d say. A touch bigger.
Him: What's on your mind you naughty boi
Me: Well I thought that was obvious. I’m just setting the scene for our next meet. You don’t think its too soon to be discussing this do you.
Me: Maybe the next time we meet I’d want to take it to the next stage, unless its too soon for you?
Him: I’m not sure its too soon or late but lets see what happens next time when we meet
Me: Wasn’t quite the reply I was expectin. Just so we’re clear – I’d like 2c you naked next time we meet. Now the ball is firmly in ur court as 2wot happens next. nite
Him: Pretty str8 forward lol gd nyte
NB - This conversation took place at 2AM.