Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Bring It On Barcelona

It's times like when I'm going abroad for 4 days that I actually realise just how gay I really am. Most people who have meet me, will be hard pressed to guess at my sexuality, unless I tell them, I think my friend J (who is like days away from having her baby now) is the only one ever who has asked me directly if I am, we understand each other completely. I'm not camp nor do I use elaborate hand gestures, nor do I speak with a high tone.

But today as I'm throwing together my toiletries bag I realise just how gay I am.
Heres what I have so far:
1. hair gel
2. mouthwash
3. toothbrush
4. toothpaste
5. floss
6. contact lenses
7. condoms
8, lube
9. CK Obsession
10. CK Contradiction
11. baby lotion
12. moisturiser
13. roll on anti-perspirant
14. shower gel (2 types)
15. painkillers
16. anti-histamine
17. plasters
18. tattoo shine gel
19. face wash
20. eye relief Q10 cream
21. a pair of scissors
22. nail clippers
23. steriod cream
24. shaving foam
25. a razor

And I don't think I'm done yet. Scary isn't it?

Monday, July 30, 2007

Shy Boy

I know most of my readers think I’m some uber-confidant vigilante whom never feels weak in the knees, a rogue maneater or some such (well I know Jay does anyway). Well just for clarity I really am not. I can be one hell of a flirt, have the bluntness of well a brick and can be so forward I’ll make you red in the face but whilst I put on an image of confidence, well suffice to say its put on.

I’ve lost of count of how many people refer to me as good-looking, but the truth of the matter is that when I look in the mirror I see a pipsqueak who needs lipoinduction. No seriously I always refer to myself as a Smurf, but despite feeling like a smurf at the best of times, I do walk and talk with an air of confidence, and the fact that I always have a smile plastered on my face helps.

So going back to the rollercoaster events of April/May, I meet this guy called Jimmy, around the same time as things with Alex died down. So I kind of put him on hold. Now there are many guys who you see and your heart skips a beat, or make you struggle for air, but Jimmy isn’t one of them guys. Jimmy is quiet and shy, whilst he isn’t ugly, he isn’t one of them guys you expect to see on the front page of a magazine, or the kind of guy whose clothes you just wanna rip off. Rather he is sweet and reserved, but sometimes I find this is rather frustrating.

He is very much like Sid in the respect that he is usually the one to contact me when neither have spoken/texted each other in a while. But unlike Sid, he seems to be able to keep his hands to himself. I’ve already said he is shy so this is no real surprise. Sid was pretty shy too, but Sid hands were far from shy. Even when we were out, Sid would slip his hand into mine, or if we were at the cinema, lets just say his hands wandered everywhere but his lap.

So when does one stop being shy with someone. I’ve met up with Jimmy a fair few times, and I’ve yet to actually hold his hand or touch him, in fact there has been little more than a handshake or a hug. I am good at reading people and I can tell from his body language he isn’t comfortable with it, so I haven’t pressed it until now.

Just for the record we’ve been out a couple of times. Once he let me down and cancelled on me quite late (when I was ill so I’d have cancelled on him anyway but I didn’t tell him this) - nevertheless I said he’d have to make it up to me, something seductive I suggested (this is me being causally flirty), and its kinda in the whole my style of dating - I always insist the person I’m seeing organises the second date as it gives me an idea of what is on their mind, and it acts as kinda a test for me – so what does he arrange a meal at Nandos (a Portuguese restaurant) – not quite what I had in mind when I said seductive. But oh well I do like Nandos, and annoying for the better part of it, it feel on me to finalise all the little details.

Now I want your opinion on exactly how to interpret a conversation I’ve had with him, coz it left me a little perplexed as to where exactly I stand with this guy. So for the first time I pressed the whole sex angle by asking: (via SMS) after the SECOND official date.

Me: Excuse me for being forward but I’m gonna ask you a personal question, are you a top or a bottom. I fear your 2shy to bring it up unless I bring it up first

Him: Haha wot do you think, guess

Him: I don’t think you’ll be able to guess I’m a top. U?

Me: I’d class myself as a top too. Which is not to say I’d never consider it. Have you ever bottomed?

Him: No I haven’t.

Me: Would you ever consider bottoming?

Him: I’m not sure I would or wouldn’t consider it.

Me: I see. How many inches are you?

Him: About x inches. U? (for reasons of privacy this one has been censored)

Me: About the same I’d say. A touch bigger.

Him: What's on your mind you naughty boi

Me: Well I thought that was obvious. I’m just setting the scene for our next meet. You don’t think its too soon to be discussing this do you.

Me: Maybe the next time we meet I’d want to take it to the next stage, unless its too soon for you?

Him: I’m not sure its too soon or late but lets see what happens next time when we meet

Me: Wasn’t quite the reply I was expectin. Just so we’re clear – I’d like 2c you naked next time we meet. Now the ball is firmly in ur court as 2wot happens next. nite

Him: Pretty str8 forward lol gd nyte

NB - This conversation took place at 2AM.

Shayne Ward - If That's OK With You

I think I'm in love

The hot gorgeous one is called Shayne Ward, he won X-Factor. He was hot then, now with tattoos, he is an instant hard-on. Fuck I've finally found my soulmate. Now I just need to wait until he finds me.

Friday, July 27, 2007


It amazes me to no end that if there is a tsunami in Thailand or an earthquake in India, we as Brits can get aid out there within a short period of time, and yet when we have a natural disaster in our own country right now, with epic floods across the country, and now we are, or rather our children are, swimming in sewage contaminated with E.Coli and Cholera (how stupid can parents be letting kids swim/wade in sewage?) and there are not only health warnings in specific regard to this but thousands of people no longer have drinking water, and the flooding is getting worse. What is this a third world country?

Personally I think Gordon Brown is doing a bang out brilliant job (its too early in the morning to choose words that ooze sarcasm so just for the record I don't actually think that: personally I think he is a complete twat that cashed in on Blair's resignation - would we have ever elected him as Prime Minister in an Election - HELL NO), but thats not the real question, the real question is why the fuck is he touring the country personally observing the floods (did I see him distributing water or placing sandbags in people's doorways - NO). I think instead of acting like the complete twat that he is, really he should be doing something about the fucking flood damage, like insisting EU aid from the natural disaster pot, hell the fucking government can pay it back afterwards when the floods relent, if they aren't eligible.

I was watching the news yesterday and I saw a 90-something year old woman being herded by some official looking men, and my heart really went out for the poor thing, at that age what you don't need is flood water wreaking havok in your home but a nice easy stressfree existance.

Apologies for the political stance of this post.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Thinking Bloggers Award

For some strange reasons (I can't actually think of any) Billy has decided to kindly bestow upon me the honour of a 'Thinking Blogger' award. Now as sweet as Billy is, I really can't fathom or understand his reasons, mostly I don't think very much, rather I just act on autopilot.

Nonetheless I am honored... since its not often one bestows such an 'prestigious award' upon you.

According to Billy having been granted this title I must pass it on to 5 others. Bloggers whom I consider worthy of such honour.

I must write a mini-post that links to the five bloggers that make me think. I must then link to this post, so that the five tagged bloggers can find it... and finally I must display the above picture linking it to the exact origin of the award, which is here.

The five I have chosen will be (in alphabetic order)

1. Gayboy Diary - As one of the few UK blogs I follow GBD as he shares his thoughts about life in London in a thought provoking way.

2. Guy In London - Now whilst GIL is a fairly recent discovery for me, there's something very thought worthy about this man... reading his posts makes me wonder about the choices I've made in life and the choices I've yet to make.

3. Jay - What can i say about Jay? There is something very engaging about him... his blog is definitely a daily read for me, most of his posts end with a question or ask your opinion, if that won't make one think nothing will.

4. Kenny - As Kenny struggles to cope with his life in the closet and his first steps out, one can't help and wonder about one's own struggle with his closet.

5. Other Side, The - Other side is a bi guy trying to work out his place in the world and the questions he poses often in his blog leave me deep in thought.

There are many other blogs that make me think, but I think those five stand out a touch more than the others.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Number Three

Hey All,

I'm not sure where I saw this exactly, but the little voice in my head says over at Tom's, the voice is usually right but the other voice (yes there are many voices in here) says it might have been Monty so I'm not 100% certain (that voice is usually right too). But nonetheless I thought it was a pretty kool meme to do.

Three Things That Scare Me:
1. Open water
2. Spiders
3. Enclosed Spaces

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. Graham Norton
2. Russell Peters
3. Tequilla - (a very hard decision but just for the record Spook e almost got this spot)

Three Things I Love:
1. Sour Skittles
2. Watching cloud formations
3. Mika’s album ‘Life In Cartoon Motion’

Three Things I Hate:
Hate is such a strong word – I don’t know if I really and truly hate anything at all but I’ll try…
1. That people kill each other for such stupid reasons
2. That half of the world is starving whilst the other half lives in luxury
3. Taxation

Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. My mind
2. Why people say nice things about people who have died, when in truth they were really nasty and cruel
3. People’s blind faith in God

Three Things On My Desk:
1. Dust
2. My computer
3. My mobile phone

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. Listening to music
2. Sitting in a chair
3. Trying to pretend I don’t need a piss

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Climb Mount Kilimanjaro and/or Everest
2. Visit the Maldives
3. Become fluent or semi-fluent in Spanish

Three Things I Can Do:
1. Count to 10 without making mistakes
2. Kid myself
3. Talk shit

Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. Make myself get an eyebrow piercing
2. Sing
3. Walk in a straight line without wavering even slightly

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. Anything that the Dalai Lama has to say
2. Your intuition
3. Your heart

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. Gossip
2. The voice in your head that tells you that you are worthless
3. Abuse

Three Things I’d Like To Learn (but won’t):
1. How to perfectly aim and fire a gun
2. Latin
3. Lugandi

Three Favourite Foods:
1. Margarita pizza
2. Thin French Fries
3. Chicken burger

Three Cartoon/Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. He-Man
2. Visionairies
3. Pirates of Dark Water

Three Bloggers I’ve tagged:
1. Pinky
2. Billy
3. Jay

PS - Thanks for the award Billy, I'll dedicate my next post to doing as you've tagged me to do so.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


Howdy all,

It seems like a lifetime ago that I actually posted on eBlogger.

First off thanks to everyone for their concern, just for the record I think I’m about 97% back to my annoying self ;o)

I’ve been quite busy for the last week or so, so despite the fact that I was away from eBlogger its not been so much of a break as I had originally hoped for but still with being almost 100% now, who gives a fuck.

Last week saw me at the Doctors AGAIN and it seems like forever that I’ve been taking antibiotics, everytime I think I’m almost done with a course I get another one. I still have over a week to go. At one point I was on 4 different courses.

I attended a funeral of an extended family member (my aunt’s father-in-law), which was hard (as funerals always are) - it wasn’t just the difficulty of dealing with the funeral itself, but rather the fact that he died the day before my aunt’s Dance Academy’s sell-out Dance Show, and with over 500 people attending there was no way that the show could be cancelled. It was an extremely stressful day for both my aunt and uncle-in-law (who was present despite his father having passed away the night before).

The week was topped up with a short break to Butlins (Minehead), from which I have only just returned. It was very tiring but equally relaxing. It pleased me to no end that my niece had a blast, so it was worth the sheer exhaustion we endured, hell I was so shattered I as an insomniac slept from midnight to 10AM yesterday night.

Annoyingly I have my first class for the new term on Thursday, but on the bright side I’m jetting off to Barcelona in 2 weeks time for just under a week with some mates.

Peace out.